


Almost Honeymoon

by z0mbieshake



Series: Memories of a Better Time [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Fish out of Water, Fluff and Crack, Honeymoon, Hotels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:11:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/z0mbieshake/pseuds/z0mbieshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter sends Felix to New York City to drop off a package.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Honeymoon

"I want you to go to New York City."

Felix narrowed his eyes in confusion, "Go where?"

"To The Land Without Magic," Peter remarked, "It's where Baelfire escaped to."

"Do you need me to get him back?"

Peter chuckled at the response, loving how utilitarian his favourite lost boy was, "Of course not. He's right where I want him. Tamara's already wormed her way into his life. Nothing quite as deceptive and manipulative as a woman," Peter added absently.

Felix shrugged, not sure how to respond to that, "What do you need me to do?"

"Deliver this package to a man named Greg Mendel," Peter replied, gesturing to the satchel on his desk, "It's a set of tools that he might find useful."

"What about the Darlings?" Felix asked.

Peter snorted, folding his arms, "Can't trust them with this. If they ever get the chance to turn on me, I know they'll try to use this against me. I can't have that."

Felix nodded, not bothering to ask more questions to doubt Pan's decision, "When do we go?"

"You can't go there dressed like that though." Peter stepped forward, waving his hands in front of him as a fine green mist covered Felix.

Felix didn't like how constricted he felt in his new clothing. Unlike the loose, raggedy cloth he was used to, this modern clothing clung to him tight. A heavy woolen jacket covered his upper torso but lacked a hood for him to tuck his head in. The only article he seemed to like was the scruffy green scarf, replacing the stray cloth he tied around his neck.

Peter was beaming as his eyes searched Felix from head to toe. He laughed when his eyes fell on Felix's face, clearly disgruntled with his new outfit. To soothe the sadness, Peter reached forward and wove his fingers into his hair, massaging the scalp lovingly. Immediately, Felix slackened in his grip, shutting his eyes and purring as Peter played with his hair.

With just a bit of magic, Peter straightened up his twisted locks till they were reasonably presentable. He stepped back to admire his handiwork, completely transforming Felix into a modern day boy, "This is a good look."

"Don't get used to it," Felix grumbled, slinging the satchel over his shoulder.

 

Felix sneezed loudly, the wintery air foreign and painful against his skin. It had been centuries since he'd seen snow. Peter always kept Neverland at a healthy, spring temperature, occasionally dipping into chilliness when he was feeling a bit distant. At most he'd seen was frost, but never a full on blizzard like New York City. He began to wonder if it was always this cold and how anyone could stand living in it.

Felix had been standing in the park for at least an hour, satchel in hand and no 'Greg Mendel' in sight. He wondered if Peter was testing him, trying to see if he'd actually try to run away, steal the tools in the satchel for himself and rebel against Pan should he try to retrieve him. Peter seemed pretty clear that the contents of this package could never fall into the wrong hands like he was testing what Felix would do with this knowledge. Felix scoffed at the thought. As if he would _ever_ betray Peter Pan.

People were beginning to gather at the park, mostly couples taking leisurely strolls. Absently, Felix began to imagine himself and Peter in their place, just another couple enjoying their time together. A pleasant smile appeared on his face at the though, warming him just enough to make him comfortable in the harsh winter weather.

" _Oh Felix_ ,"

Felix flinched at the sound of Peter moaning his name. He whipped around, searching for Peter but finding nothing but perplexed strangers. Felix swore he heard Peter's voice, _moaning his name_. He reddened at the thought, burying his chin into his scarf. Was his libido really that uncontrollable?

" _Felix, yes!"_

Again! Felix knew he wasn't imagining it. A couple walking by had been shooting awkward looks at him. He searched the world around him again, unable to find the immortal boy. His hands then found something heavy in his pocket. He retrieved the flat, seemingly lacquered object from his pocket, the screen upon it glowing with a bright green answer button flashing at him. He stared at it first, eyes narrowing as he studied the odd device. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It had to be magic to be giving off such a light without a flame.

" _Felix!"_ The moan came from the speaker, startling Felix as he almost dropped the phone.

Following his instinct, Felix pressed the flashing green button, holding the phone awkwardly in front of his face, "Hello?" He said haphazardly.

"Did I startle you?" Peter's voice, smooth and rich over the receiver instantly brought peace to him, "Did you like your ringtone? I made it personally for you."

Felix rolled his eyes, fully expecting Peter to do something like this, "It's lovely."

"Thank you," Peter replied, "Has Greg Mendel appeared yet?"

Felix shook his head, his usual response until he realized that Peter was on the phone and not in front of him, "No. He hasn't."

"Odd. He's usually quite punctual. Anyway, if you're cold, there's a hat in the satchel you can wear."

Felix held the phone between his cheek and shoulder, flipping open the satchel to find a fluorescent green hat complete with ear flaps and a large puffball on the top. Felix was, needless to say, _not amused_.

"Fuck you Peter," Felix snickered.

"I love you too," Peter replied, laughter unfortunately mangled across the speaker.

Putting the phone away, Felix eventually did pull the hat onto his head despite the evident clash with his style. He didn't care if he looked silly, if Peter Pan gave it to him then he'd wear it proudly everywhere.

'Greg Mendel' did eventually appear, a wormy looking fellow with pasty skin and a disturbed look in his eyes. He came towards Felix, ranting about the Home Office and his mission. Felix nodded back dumbly, handing over the satchel and watching as he tucked it into his jacket and fled. From what Felix saw when he retrieved his hat, all that seemed to be in the bag were toys enchanted with Peter's magic. Though certainly powerful, he couldn't understand why Greg would need them.

" _Oh Felix!_ "

Felix had to remind himself to figure out how to change the ringtone the next time he had to make a trip. The arousal that came from hearing it was not worth the damning glares he received from pedestrians. He took the phone from his pocket and answered, "Yes?"

"Have you delivered the package?"

"Yes. He took it from me. Said something about 'The Home Office'."

"That's the name of our secret organization. Didn't I tell you?"

"Guess."

"Don't give me sass," Peter snapped.

Felix smirked, chuckling lightly as he fixed the hat on his head, "Yes Peter."

"Anyway, before you come back, why don't we do something while you're there?"

Felix perked up a bit, wondering what Peter could be planning given that Felix had never seen this world before, "What do you have in mind?"

"Oh, just a little fun," Peter's response came as an echo: One voice coming from the phone, the other coming from behind him.

Felix whipped around immediately, eyes glowing when he found Peter standing behind him dressed in a dark green jacket with a black scarf and leather gloves. He smirked at Felix, putting the phone away with his brow quirked upward cockily, "Nice hat."

All of the anxiety that came with being dropped into a foreign world with nothing but a phone to connect him to his life washed away with Peter's presence. Felix was immediately following Peter's heels, happily obedient to his king.

Leading them both into a secluded ally, Peter surrounded both of them in a green mist as he teleported them into what could only be described as a _luxurious_ hotel room. Felix couldn't believe what he was seeing, mouth gaping as he wandered the enormous room lit with extravagant lamps that he could only liken to the majestic glow of fairies. He passed the king-sized bed, bigger than any hammock or bedroll he'd ever seen in Neverland, and approached the giant window overlooking the entire city. The millions of windows and streetlights dotting the world like stars on the surface of the earth.

Peter smiled at Felix, enjoying the glow on Felix's face like a cat curious of their new environment. He watched Felix wander the room, hands gliding over everything trying to figure it all out. Peter had plenty of time to look over this world, learning the technology from a distance. This was all foreign to Felix and Peter _loved_ knowing that he held some knowledge over the lost boy.

"What is this?" Felix asked, sitting back on one of the couches.

"It's a hotel room," Peter explained, taking off his scarf and gloves and tossing them to the desk, "The nicest one in this building from what I can tell."

"Is it yours?"

Peter laughed at Felix's adorable naivety, "Not quite. But the person owning it is now spending the night locked up in an elevator."

"Elevator?"

"Let's just say he's out of the way," Peter replied, removing his jacket as he approached Felix, summoning him to stand with a look. He slipped his hand under the hem of his jacket, undoing the buttons as he pressed his warms hands against Felix's cool flesh, "You're freezing. Let's get you warmed up," Taking his hand, Peter led Felix into the bathroom.

Peter had to be honest about this. The main reason he bothered bringing Felix to New York was to see his reaction to the modern world. There was a slight thrill in seeing Felix, the adept and courageous leader to the lost boys, completely flabbergasted by modern technology. The idea of _running water_ and a formula that made _bubbles_ in the water was completely mind-blowing to Felix and sent Peter in a fit of amusement.

Felix crooned as he settled into the hot water, hands playing with the foam floating at the surface. For the first time in a very long time, Felix looked like a child. Felix's tact and undying loyalty always made him seem far older, almost too old for the lost boys. It was endearing to see him actually acting like a child for once. Not that Peter would let him do that for long...

Joining him in the tub, Peter sat across from him, leaning against the edge and nudging at Felix's thighs with his foot. Felix took Peter's foot into his hands without command and began massaging the sole, rolling his thumbs across the balls of his feet. Peter hummed with satisfaction, stretching back as he flexed his foot in Felix's hands.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Peter nearly moaned his words.

Felix gave him a half-smile as he continued, "The younger ones generally start complaining after a patrol."

Peter growled, folding his arms, "I don't want you to massage them anymore. Only massage me."

Felix smiled, a happy sigh as Peter nudged at his stomach with his foot, "Yes Peter."

Shifting over in the tub, foam clinging to his body as he stood, Peter eventually sat himself down in Felix's lap, smearing a spot of bubbles on Felix's nose, "Good boy."

Felix had nearly relaxed with Peter in his grasp till Peter reached across the tub and pressed a switch. An unmanly yelp came from Felix as he _sailed across the tub_ , tossing Peter into the water as he fled.

"What the hell!" Felix shouted, scrambling as far from his side of the tub as he could, tossing bubbles and water all over the floor. Peter should've been angry but all he could do was _laugh and laugh_ , "What was that?"

"Calm down, Felix," Peter called out, clasping onto Felix's shoulders trying to quell the quaking trembling taking over. His eyes were wide with fear like he'd just been attacked by a wild animal, "That was just the Jacuzzi."

Felix shrugged immediately, "Is that some sort of animal? It _attacked_ me."

Peter rolled his eyes but kept his smile, "It's supposed to be soothing," He took Felix by the wrist, leading him back to the other side of the tub where the massaging jet was still active, stirring up the bubbles in the water. He held Felix's hand over the nozzle, letting him feel the rush of water through his fingers till he understood that the Jacuzzi tub _wasn't_ trying to kill him. He eventually took Felix by the shoulders, sitting him back against the massaging jet and seating himself against on his lap.

"Well, is it relaxing?" Peter asked, smearing shapes into the foam on Felix's chest.

Felix shifted a bit, "It tickles." In other words, _no_.

"Close enough," Peter replied, tucking himself into Felix's chest and pinning him against the massaging jet despite the subtle but obvious protest.

Taking advantage of the situation, after the two left the tub and dried off, Peter hid Felix's clothing in an invisible cloak, forcing the poor boy to walk around in nothing but a thin silk bathrobe clearly intended for a woman given how it exposed his legs. Not that Peter was protesting as he so rarely got to see Felix's long legs. He took the thicker bathrobe, clearly meant for someone closer to Felix's height but _like hell_ if he'd wear the women's robe.

Felix was laying on the bed, propping up his head on one arm as he watched Peter stumble out in the larger robe, "You're going to trip over the robe," He remarked, all smiles. Peter didn't respond with words, merely eyeing Felix's bare legs lustfully, nothing but dirty thoughts reflecting in his eyes as he leered. Felix shuddered with lust and looked away, silencing himself as he tugged at the hem of the silk robe.

Peter flopped onto the bed beside him, purposely colliding into his body making the silk robe ride up once more. He settled one hand on Felix's thigh, sliding it up and flexing his fingers along the inside until Felix blushed an intense shade of red. Mere inches away from his intended destination, Peter withdrew his hand and waved a television remote in front of Felix's face, "Let's watch a movie. Shall we?"

Mind short-circuited, Felix could do little else outside of nod dumbly. He didn't even have the audacity to ask Peter what a movie was.

The two of them were splayed on the bed, Peter tucking himself into Felix's chest with his hand dangerously comfortable on Felix's thigh. Anytime Peter opened his mouth, Felix would immediately place a piece of chocolate on his tongue. Peter smiled brightly every time, so pleased to have Felix do the work for him.

To no one's surprise, _Peter Pan_ was their first movie. Peter was understandably not amused.

"I look so much better than that," Peter remarked as 'Peter Pan' flew across the screen with his arms out stretched, "What is that outfit? Spandex?"

"I like the hat," Felix remarked.

Peter scoffed, "It'd fall off if I was trying to fly."

Felix shrugged back, "I still like the hat."

"And I prefer the feel of wind whipping through my hair," Peter added, staring at Felix who continued to look back with an utterly deadpan face, "But you still like the hat," Felix nodded back with a smile, " _Fine_. I'll wear it when we get back to Neverland. But only for one day."

Felix's grin stretched from ear to ear, so satisfied by giving Peter a command. Letting the high of the moment get to him, Felix opened his mouth playfully. Peter wondered what he was doing at first till his eyes widened in realization. Smirking, Peter plucked a piece of chocolate from the tray and brought it to Felix's lips. Moments before he closed his mouth, Peter pulled back and popped the sweet into his own mouth, smirking smugly at Felix as he chewed away.

"Nice try, Felix," Peter said, reclining back against his body as he continued watching Peter Pan.

At least both of them agreed that Hook would look silly with a perm.

They unanimously decided that their next movie had to have pirates, apparently both of them thought of Hook a lot more than either of them wanted to admit. The movie portrayed them as far more drab than Hook and his colourful crew but nevertheless still very magical judging from the zombies aboard the ship.

"Blackbeard doesn't look like that," Peter remarked, "But at least they got the mermaids right. Sinister-looking broads. Could tear a lost boy in two in seconds."

"That cabin boy is handsome," Felix said. He flinched as Peter dug his nails into his thigh.

"What was that?" Peter growled, twisting around to glare daggers at Felix.

Acting oblivious to Peter's rage, Felix added, "He's so brave too. Only boy in a crew of pirates. Goes out of his way to save that preacher. What do you think, Peter?"

Felix held in a snicker as Peter turned the television off, tossing the remote onto the floor as he tackled Felix down on the bed. Gripping into the silk with his hands, Peter tore the offending clothing off, revealing his naked form to the warm air, "He's not that handsome. And besides," Peter dragged a fingernail down Felix's chin to his throat, "He'd never be able to make you moan like I can."

Felix chuckled, Adam's apple bobbing under Peter's finger, "I never said that."

"I know. Just thought it'd be a nice to remind you," Peter replied, dipping down suddenly and plunging his teeth into Felix's neck.

Felix groaned huskily, back arching off the mattress as his arms looped around Peter's body and gripped him close. With one hand firmly gripped in Felix's hair, Peter reached towards the lamp with his free hand and switched it off, shrouding their obscene routine with darkness.

 

With his chest pressed against Felix's back, arms coiled loosely around his firm stomach, Peter nudged at Felix with his chin, waking him from slumber, "Felix?"

"Yes, Peter?" Felix replied, eyes still shut.

Peter lay there silent for a while, trying to collect his thoughts, "You could have escaped. The satchel you delivered contained a couple magical artifacts I enchanted. Granted, they wouldn't be able to stop me but you could probably get far enough to discourage me from chasing," He didn't want to sound like he had been testing Felix all along. By all means, he could have delivered the package himself but he wanted to see Felix squirm in this new world and introduce him to it. However, he just had to know the truth, "Why didn't you run away?"

Felix chuckled, yawning as he relaxed in Peter's grip ready to fall back asleep, "Why would I ever want to leave you?" Felix spoke like this was the simplest question in the world.

"Right," Peter murmured, trying hard not to smile into Felix's back. There's no way he could let Felix know how _happy_ his words made him, "Goodnight."

"Night, Peter"

And when Felix dozed off and Peter spoke only to unhearing ears:

"I love you, Felix."

**Author's Note:**

> The ringtone idea was shamelessly stolen by Sherlock's "A Scandal In Belgravia" because if Felix had a phone, Peter would definitely set his ringtone to him moaning


End file.
